i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize