You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
