We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
