Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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