I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
