i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
