I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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