just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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