I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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