So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
worst night to have a conscience
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
