PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
