; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
