oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
