Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
