I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
