Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm bleeding and have questions
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
