Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
