playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's never too late to be topless.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
