halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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