i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
