Ambien. No doubt about it.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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