Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
