I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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