We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I would ride that face into the sunset
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
