I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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