i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
