So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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