Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Randomize
