i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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