I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
