Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
