FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
