MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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