all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's blow job season.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
