New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
