the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
