you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
