what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
