I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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