plz talk dirty to me
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
