We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
