Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
