don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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