her vagine was all disorganized.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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