Don't you send me to vm
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
