Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
