Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
