She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
