Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize