He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he puts the penis in happiness.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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