I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You smell like stripper and shame
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
