It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
