doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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